It's been a while

It's been a while since I last posted; for the past couple of weeks, the days just seem to be a blur. I must admit though, I haven't eaten much, but that may be because i've slept till late in the morning. Having lots of time - not eating- has let me think more about myself and who i am in the world. I found this survey, and decided to put it up, hope you don't mind that it may be a bit long. I found it from another blog... so here goes. (it also has some weird questions.)

Three colours you are wearing at the moment.
1. Blue
2. White
3. light pink
The last three people to call you:
1. Dad
2. sister
3. mom
Three bands/singers you love:
1. Michelle Branch
2. Taylor Swift
3. katy perry
Three people you've talked to today:
1. Mom
2. Dad
3.
Three things you could grab from where you're sitting:
1. phone
2. hand sanitizer
3. lip chap
The last three things you've had to drink:
1. Water
2. Milk
3. Water
Three people you can count on:
1.
2.
3.
Three places you want to go:
1. London
2. Paris
3. New York
The last three places you've gone:
1. Neighours garden
2. Mom's
3. Dad's
Three people to be stranded on a desert island with:
1. Sister
2. Emma watson
3. michelle branch (for music to pass time)
Three smells you love:
1. fresh bread.
2. roses
3. fresh food
Three people you loop up to:
1. Audrey Hepburn
2. ??
3. ??
Three places you've lived:
1. Mackenzie
2. here.
3.
Three things you're good at:
1. cooking
2. Music
3. Reading
The last three people you've kissed:
1. none.
2.
3.
The last three people you've dated:
1. none.
2.
3.
Three irresponsible things you've done:
1. let my mom buy and decide on prom dress (horrible)
2. Not do well in school as I would have hoped.
3. Cause the destruction of my family.
Three Movies You Love:
1. 200 Pounds Beauty
2. Memoirs of a Geisha
3. Amelie
Three Things That Annoy You:
1. stuck up people who think their all that
2. messy room
3. cold
Three items that you'd save of you're house was on fire:
1. laptop (computer)
2. guitar
3. books (diary?)
Three careers you've considered:
1. Editor
2. cook/baker
3. fashion designer
Three things you wish you knew about your future:
1. if i will find love in life
2. if i will be happy after everything
3.
The last three songs you listened to:
1. Mine - Taylor Swift
2. 2010 - Jay Sean
3. she Wolf - shakira
Three things you consider lucky:
1. purse (in case of emergency)
2. stars
3. being happy
Three t.v. show characters you wish were real:
1. Monica Gellar (friends)
2. Valla (stargate sg1) (what? she's hilarious!!)
3.
Three issues you have strong opinions on;
1. Animal cruelty
2. Global Warming
3. gas (like what happened at the gulf)
Three things you wish you could change about yourself:
1. skinnier
2. More of a personality (funnier perhaps)
3. smarter
Three people from your past you wish you could spend a day with:
1.
2.
3.
Three famous people you'd like to meet:
1. Anne Frank
2. emma watson
3. michelle branch
Three things you are wearing:
1. socks
2. sweater
3. blue jeans
Three things you are addicted to:
1. music
2. tv
3. laptop
Three favorite colours: (changes all the time)
1. pink
2. blue
3. white
Three things you will do now that this is over:
1. finish tv show
2. bathroom
3. sleep


oh gsh that was long
thanks for reading if you did

Lovelovelove,
~Em

So my sister didn't stay at home last night...and its my fault.
Okay, so first, I accidentally told my father that my mother had taken my sister's phone away because my sister said she was going to be somewhere but was actually out somewhere else with a boy - so my mother took my sisters phone away.
My father got a little mad, since, how else was he supposed to contact my sister if she didn't have her phone?
So last night, my sister and mother got into a arguement about how my sister shuld have her phone incase of arguments. In the end, my mother grabbed the phone, walked up to my sister and said 'Fine, go live with your father.' So my sister wasnt home last night, and it's all my fault.

So tomorrow, we're celebrating my birthday ( ;( ) and my father wants to have a barbeque. WHAT!!!!!!>?????? There is no way in h*ll (escuse my language) that I would EVER want a barbeque for my birthday. They smell, and they revolt me. Tons of ants and mosquitos, and, oh, god the heat! I hate them. I don't like the smell of chicken, or hot dogs, or hamburgers, and I don't even eat meat to begin with. But my father is always pushing the meat on me, AND I DON'T WANT TO EAT IT!!!
I know I shouldn't be so selfish, but when its girl's birthday, she wants the day to be perfect. And my idea of perfect is NOT with a barbeque! AAHHHHH!
I hope it's fine tomorrow. I have never had a good birthday, they've all been BAD and crappy. I've never had a sweet 16, but that's just me. I would rather not americanize - no offense to those who have - my birthday (even though its not my 16th, but 19th), but when I'm 19, I'm legally an adult, and can do whatever I please, even if I want to get out of the country, or just travel across country.

Anyway, hope everyone else is doing better than I am, and I hope summer is treating everyone better (TIP: you burn more calories when you jog in the summer than in the winter)

Lovelovelove
~Em

From bad to worse

You know that expression 'How could it get any worse?'; the one you use when everything seems to be bad, but once you say it, it gets worse. Well, my life now has gone from bad to worse.
My mom has now just told my sister and me that we're moving. She can't afford the house, and shuffling snow, and wood for the wood stove seems like too much for her. I keep asking where we'll go once we're out of the house, but she doesn't know yet. That's what always bugs me. No matter where you live, at least once in someone's life they move; i hate moving, it's like there isn't a place in the world that I can ever truly call home.
So now currently I'm jobless, and now maybe temporaryily homeless.
I know it's weird when I post stuff about how bad my life is, when it's better than some. But I really don't like talking to therapists (thank god i don't anymore)- they give you answers like asking people things, that you would never ask. My mother has made me talk to at least 3, when there never was anything wrong with me inthe first place. And they never seem in understand; all they seem to do is sit there, ask you questions, and then write it down, and you get the feeling like their judging you, when, clearly, they shouldn't. I mean, everyone has secrets. Anyway, not knowing who i'm talking to kind of helps; I get annonymity, and i don't have people constantly judging me.
So by the end of the summer, I'll be living somewhere else, most likely in a rented apartment, where you can't een stick a nail in the wall. It's like I'll be living in a temporary home.
Anyway, hope everyone is good. Hope summer is treating everyone well, and good luck in your endeavors.

Lovelovelove
~Em

July 6, 2010

Hey everyone again!
I haven't been posting for a while, and I'm sorry about that. Everything has been going down hill. Good news is that I have finally figured out what I want to do for the next four years!!!!! College - to study English!
But the bad news?? I haven't been able to find a good job for almost a year now. My parents must be rolling on the floor laughing at all of my life's failures, but still thanking God that my younger sister is perfect (besides that fact that she is dating an psychotic idoit! - but they don't know that yet!)
Anyway, my life is hopefully going to get back on track this summer, and I will try to post as often as I can.
I do truly hope that everyone is great this summer, and I hope those pounds are melting off!!!

-Lovelovelove
~Em

P.S.- If anyone needs more inspiration than these (or other) blog posts, prettythin.com is a website that helps me in my darkest hour!

Good Luck Everyone!!!

??

Hey everyone reading this.
I know i havne't really been writing much over the last couple of months. I've just been kind of busy trying to sort everything.
Summer is just a month away and i'm hoping to be much thinner and more fit then. I only have a month left to do that, so I've been trying to get my a** out for a jog more than i usually would.

Over the next few weeks, I have learned that now, if i want to go to a good college/university, i may have to upgrade a few of my classes from high school.
It's no secret, i was miserable in high school, and basically sometimes my grades would be not satisfactory, but thank god i didn't fail anything. Basically when i liked a subject I would do good in it, but if i didn't like the class, I wouldn't do good, like Math, and Science. I did like History, and English Literature, Foods, and Art. So i guess that's good. And besides the fact that I would have to miss a few classes for trips to the dentist that is four hours ago. (orthodonticts, that's why i don't go to the normal dentist where I live) So i have to upgrade one class.

Gosh, this must seem like ramblings.

Anyway, i may not be able to post many updates.
Hope everyone is good.

Lovelovelove
~Em

When is my mother finally going to realize that not everything is about her?
Talking about me going to to college, and she brings up herself, saying that she's still ging to school. I DN'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HER!!! well, yeah, talking about college, but not her. I know what she thinks. she already has a perfect daughter, my sister, so why try to fix me, when theres no point, she already has a perfect one?

why does everything have to be about everyone else?
Maybe that's why i like being damaged...because sooner or later everone will notice, and by then it'll be too late, and then they'll realize how stupid they were.

ARGH!

Lovelovelove
~Em

Its been a while...

Well, it's been a while since Ive been writing. Everything been a little weird the past couple of weeks. I've mainly been visiting Pretty Thin; not much has happened.

Jobless, and lonely, and bored all the time is really...boring.
Probably haven't lost any weight i a while, but now that all the people who were away at college are coming back now, i'll be doing more jogging, jump rope, and losing weight; also dieting. If everything goes according to plan, i hope i'll be thin enough by july.
I was on Pretty Thin a couple of days ago when i saw that someone had put 4 words into their 'about me' thing. they were 'The Pretty Little Liars.' i thought about it, and when I think of it, it kind of makes sense. We all lie to get to perfection, to achieve something that seems to far off, and to feel more than just 'me'. (if that makes any sense at all).
so now I have kind of nicknames myself, the pretty little liar, a code name so that my parents or friends don't know that i'm talking about Ana.
Anyway, i hope to be writing again soon, and most likely have a job by then.

hope everyone is good

Lovelovelove
~Em