so, i was up pretty late last night, trying to find photos of magazine articles on google of people who have or have had anorexia, and their story. found quite a few... anyway...was almost tempted to have some cereal, but took an orange instead (much more healthier, and less calories)
when i woke up late this morning, i heard someone in the bathroom. i assumed it was my sister, who wasn't supposed to be home yet, but instead it was my mom.
now, i am glad that i have annonymityon this blog; i can write things that i would never tell anyome, and no one i know can bully me for what i write.
anyway, mother was crying, because she was worried about everything. i think it's because of the situation we're in today. divorced, and trying to get by, sometimes i guess it's hard not to cry.
then, five minutes later it hit me. It's my fault. now, i don't know if i have written about this before, but i feel as if the divorce is my fault. and i think my sister thinks so too; she's the one that put that idea into my head, by actually saying it out loud to my face.
is it normal to blame yourself for everything bad that happens? why me - why do i always blame my self?
at least it's another reason why i should become thinner.
stay strong and thin!
~EM
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