its funny how it works

I've started to like seeing bones, especially the clavicle bones (the ones near the shoulders). it is weird that i like seeing the bones? i like feeling a empty stomach, it makes me feel worth more. It makes me feel skinnier. I hope I'm not the only one like that. But its true. i like the bones.

Most would consider me crazy, but some can also understand - both feeling and seeing those bones makes me feel like I've done something right, like I'm succeeding in at least one thing in my life.

Ive noticed that lately I've had to goone more notch closer to the end on my belt, like I'm thinner. It makes me smile every time i do it, put my belt on, it makes me smile seeing that I've achieved being better in at least one thing in my day.

hello again

so today i woke up at about 6:30, a time when not even the sun is up yet - and i woke up at this time because the store about 10 blocks from where i live was having a 50% sale. So, my day started out okay. But since I'm living with no closet, thanks to my roommate, i now have no room for my new clothes:(

I want to move, but the people renting to us think that we want to stay for a year, that's what we signed anyways, but iwant SO badly to move. To move away from where i am now. If you've read any of my previous entries, you'll know how i feel about my living situation, and i want so desperately to get out of here. Ive almost started to become a hermit when she's - the roommate - is here, because I'm scared she'll attack me with some comment about something that she was not happy about. I'm scared living here, and i don't like it. Has anybody has this problem - about the lease thing (not the roommate thing)?? how did u get out of it? help!

anyways, for those of you who have been reading this, if there are any of you out there, then you'll remember when i wrote that my roommate had written me a letter about the living stuff. Well, here is a little snippet. And that doesnot include the comment on the toilet - 'flush toilet and clan after yourself' - and yes, i did spell 'clean' wrong, because that is how it was written by my roommate.

well anyways, i have a new computer, so here is a little snippet of the letter.

anyways, I'm just praying that i can get out of this apartment. Even though i love it so much, with its internet, cable, and heated floor, I don't think i can be like this for a year (actually now its more like 10 months, but that still is a long time)

love

~em

Appaled

I am appalled at how messy and inconsiderate my roommate is. She won't clean the kitchen, nor will she take out the garbage.

But i don't want to dampen my day anymore, so ill write some good news down.

Ive lost about 6 pounds, to now be at 124-123 pounds! Bad news is that it took a couple of months. I should be losing it faster, i know.

Anyways, got she test results back from school, and it seems I'm currently only really good at the business class. I usually always add up my test marks, just in case, and, haha, i found that the teacher had put 67, when it was really 77. Thats a B+!! that kind of make my day, and i was happy for a while, until i found that i sucked at all the other classes. So i have made it my priority to study and ace a retail buying test i have this friday. I really nervous. I should know this stuff, this math, but for some reason, it doesn't stick. I don't think the teacher likes me either. I hate when you get the feeling that the teacher doesn't like you; its like you feel like they are just rooting for you to fail. And that certainly does not make the class any better than it already is. :(

Ive made my flight plans, and so I'm going further north to visit family this Christmas. Im really looking forward to seeing the snow. Lots of it. Like up to your mid-thigh length, or even more. Im really excited to see it again, as i don't think we really get any where i live now, though we did have a little snowfall the other day, but never like the snowfall the happens up north where i used to live where about mid-November we'd get a huge dump, like a full day-and-a-half of snow, and that snow would stay. Before that, we'd get little snowfalls, but nothing that would still be there by lunch time the next day.

Anyways...yeah.

Ive tried to clean up the apartment a bit, since my roommate clearly hasn't even tried. Theres still stains on the counter from two days ago!!

All that I'm looking forward to is this weekend, when she's out of town. Then i have the place all to myself. Ive planned a dinner on Friday. Either pizza or sushi. Probably sushi, as pizza is like...zits and calories. yuck. Plus I've recently found a good sushi place nearby, where i can order online, and on the way home - i take the bus and sky train - i can pick it up. yumyum

I give you....the most whiniest roommate

OMG!!!

this was left by my roommate a few days ago, and i was, and still am, completed horrified and appalled that she thinks she can treat me like that!

I am a clean, and neat person, and she's the messy one. HERES THE PROOF!!

this is her mess:

ps: those dishes have been sitting there for at least 2 days now. EEWWWWWWWW!!!!!

THIS IS MY NEATNESS:

I swear if she isn't gone by the end of the year, ill move myself. I can't live with her anymore; every time i leave a room, i always have to look over my shoulder to see if everything is par to her standards. Im sick of having to follow her rules. IM SICK OF IT!!!

anyways, had very little today, lots of water, but my foot hurts SO bad from walking, which is weird since i didn't really walk as far as i normally do on other days.

I recently heard my roommate talking about me.

Okay, lets be honest, we all snoop at time to time out of curiosity. Nothing wrong with that.

I heard my roommate saying that she was thinking of taking a piece of halloween candy - chocolate obv. - and dropping it in the toilet.

This took a minute to register in my mind as to why the hell someone would do that.

Then i thought, well I most certainly canNOT control how the toilet, nor how my body works. And i know that i flush every time. EVERYTIME!!

at least ill know if she does do that

Besides that, we don't really speak. About a month back, i said 'hey' to her when she was coming home, but she didn't say anything back, so since then I haven't really spoken to her. and she hasn't really spoken to me. I am seriously considering moving to another place. I know that i signed a contract and all, but if my roommate thinks that she can screw with me that way, and that she can get away with it, then she has another thing coming.

Besides, she's the one who doesn't clean up her dishes after she's done with them. I mean, i understand of she doesn't clean, dry, and out away all of them the second she's done with them, especially in the morning before school, but the least she can do is put them to the side so i can have a little room to make my own breakfast, or cook. Seriously. She has like two to four pots and pans on the stove still there from yesterday, and theres no room for anything in the freezer; she's taken it all. I was at the store a few days ago and was about to get frozen yogurt when I remembered that if i did get it, there would be absolutely no room for it in the freezer whatsoever. I was so looking forward to having frozen yogurt.