so now im am starting more 'today' posts about what ive eaten, because, frankly, that's the best way to go.
anyway,
today i have had:
1 cup coffee w/ milk and sugar
1/2 cup KD mac & cheese
1 cup green tea

So apparently, when I researched green tea, it can help burn fat. It lowers cholesterol, and, weirdly enough, can aid in weight loss. I think its fascinating how one cup of tea can aid anyone in losing weight, thus, becoming healthier.
Last night I was on Twitter, and I found some food facts, that are both-sided, ones that can make me think food is GROSS, and some that can make me think food is good:

1. On average, a person will spend a total of five years, eating during his or her lifetime.
2. 1 out of every 4 kids in the USA are overweight!
3. The smell of apples or bananas can help you lose weight!
4. Every day, 7% of the US, about 21,840,000 people, eat at McDonald's. GROSS!
5. The average chocolate bar, has about 8 insects' legs in it!
6. Apples, are more efficient than caffeine, at waking you up in the morning!
7. During your lifetime, you'll eat about 60,000 pounds of food, that's the weight of anbout 6 elephants.
8. Formaldehyde is the stinky liquid that's used to preserve dead labortory animals. This chemical is what the artificial sweetener aspartame, breaks down into after being eaten.
9. Two 12-ounce servings of freshly juiced apples, pears, carrots, celery, and leafy greens can produce the same effect as twice the dosing recommendation of a laxative!

Yum. Personally, I don't think I would ever want to take a laxative, so I could freshly juice vegetables and fruit to get the same effect, but twice that as a laxative! Cool.

Love
~Em

Finally warmer weather

Finally warmer weather to be joggin in.
Winter is starting to leave, and that means its workout season; time to work off all those pounds and fat i've been gaining throughtout the winter. Time to go jogging every morning, and night, and time to get ready for bikini season. For the past few years, every summer, I've been hiding my body away, because, compared to those skinny girls at the mall, i'm ginormous. This year i WILL make sure, is COMPLETELY different.
Anyways, I dont think ill be going down south this summer, as my father isn't going that way, and even if my mother goes and visits family down there, won't be going. I still can't seem to even think of my grandmother after what she did to me.

Anyway...
Let me just sum things up: im the type of girl that sets a goal of diet and exercise, but fails miserably only a few days later. I don't think I've ever been on a diet for more than a few days, which is pathetic, I know.
I just hope this time I can keep it up; I've posted pictures of thin, so if I even feel a little bit tempted to eat a cookie, I will think twice about it.
Unlike the previous diets I have been on, ones that i made for myself, I did not have what I now call a "binge day". With some diets, they can practically carb/calorie -starve you into such desperation, that taking a cookie is most likely to happen. But this time, I am making a day where I can have what I want; obv. with restrictions, but on that day I can have one or two extra things in my diet that I wouldn't even dare have the rest of the week. I have named it: 'Binge-day-Saturday.' Basically I found this video on youtube, where this pro-ana girl would starve herself for the week, but then on Saturday she would allow herself a little extra, so that she wouldn't eat everything in sight after two weeks of dieting.
Anyway, of course with every diet, I am setting myself some rules. Yes, they are extreme, but in the end, the results are all that matter. Basically, my goal is to be thinner and way less than my sister (who weighs about 115 right now, i think; she goes to the gym 3x/week, for hour and a half, so i goal if to beat that, so to exercise more than 4.5 hours a week), and weigh like 105, or 110, or something like that.
So here are some rules:
1. No more than 500 cals per day (for the week thats 3500 per, which is equal to one pound in calories) (LOOK AT #5 for SATURDAY)
2. No food with added sugar; basically no pop, chocolate, ice cream, donuts, cake, etc.
3. Anything with grains, HAS to be whole wheat, so whole-wheat pasta, whole-wheat bread, etc
4. Exercise AT LEAST 1 1/2 hours every day, (enough to equal more than 5 hours per week)
5. On Saturday, no more than 800-850, as long as ALL is burned off; if anything has sugar, I only have a 1-hour time frame to eat it in the whole day, between 12-1, to eat that.
6. NO meat; for one, it's disgusting to eat flesh, two, being vegetarian is BETTER FOR THE ENVIRONMENT.
7. Fruits and veggies now become my best friend.
8. NO DAIRY, with a few exceptions; ONLY milk, and yoghurt is fine, but no ice cream, cottage cheese, sour cream, etc.

9. Believe that you CAN, and ALWAYS have thinsporation around, so you'll NEVER be tempted.

If anyone else is going to be on a diet for bikini-season as well, good luck to everyone, and may we all be better than those skinny bitches, as by then, hopefully, we'll be the THINNEST!!!!!!!!!

(I'm following these rules at least till the end of April, and by then I have done very well, then I can reasses, and assign new rules, or keep it the way is is)

Hopefully I will post at least every week about my progress. I may not be able to post my weight, as I currently do not own a scale.

Good Luck Everyone!!!
STAY STRONG AND SKINNY!!!!!

Love,
~Em

Its SO cold where i currently live. Then to add on to that, its windy, which makes the cold even more unbearable! When i look at the weather forecast on my ipod it says -17. Brrrrrrr!!
So anyway, for the past few weeks, Ive been thinking seriously about myself, and what the future holds for myself. Last week I got an acceptance letter to the college I hope to attend in the fall, which was a huge high for me, since i didn't completely expect me to get in! Now all i have to do is figure out where i will be staying....I know I am certainly NOT staying at my grandmothers again. The first time sucked, so, NEVER again. Now, im just hoping to get into the courses I want/need to take, since I hear they fill up fast at this college.
So, as i said for the past few weeks, I have been seriously thinking about myself, and everything. Ive kept a diary, which will hopefully help. But ive been thinking about how i'm gonna live - who do i wanna be? what do i wanna do with my life? - when last night, as my father was dropping myself off home, I hit myself with a big question: why do i wanna lose 20 pounds?
That is a weird question to just randonly come up in someones head, since for a long time, ive stamped 'FAT' all over my mind, making myself know that, if i don't lose 20 pounds, i'll never be pretty. So i thought about the question, and here is my answer: so he'll/they'll see me better than he did before.
Okay, okay, crummy answer, but in high school I had this crush; during high school I was fat, a nobody, someone who just walked the halls with remorse towards herself for letting it get it this fat, and also waiting at any chance to leave high school. Anyway, I want him to see me, thin, and pretty, gorgeous and beautiful.
Ironically enough, as much as i hated high school, 2 years later, I kind of miss it. Not only because of the same routine every day, but because i always saw my friends there, no matter if they talked behind my back and i didn't know, but i knew that every day at 8:20, we would see each other. Now their gone, and i hardly see any of them. I hate not knowing whats going to happen, and with high school, it was pretty predictable. I know college will not be the same, and high school is over now, so i hope i make a new world for myself in the fall.

I looked back to my very first post, Oct 9. Ive been writing in this blog for just a little under a year and a half. wow. I started this blog just 4 months after i graduated. When I think about it, that was a long time ago.

Hope everyone is going good, and heading to thin.
love you loveliees! (love-lees)

~em

new post and thinspo

hello again!
since i am a frequent blogger who tends to find thinspo to further push me to get to where i want to be, i decided to give back to those who have given to me. Here are a few thinspo pictures that help me to not eat that chocolate cake, or that big bowl of pasta.

what i usually do is i print pics, then post them in my food diary or journal. i don't post them on my walls, since i live with my mother, and she could see them and think there's something wrong with me. which there isn't.

im not kidding

let me start at the beginning...

last night, I had a dream; now we all know that dreams can get pretty weird, or stupid.
so, the dream starts out with a wedding, which is in the back yard of some big house. then suddenly im sitting in a tree, wearing what was a dress, maybe sneaker-like shoes, and erhaps a sweater. Obviously something was wrong with my outfit, because the next scene shows the bride standing kind-of beside me, looking at me, and making what would seem like s speech. I can't exactly remember what she said, but I know she spoke about, and to me, and it was only a few sentences. She said something like 'you should get better with wearing clothes that suit you.' I can't exactly remember what she said to the point, but I think those were the guidelines.
Then the dream changes, and Im in a bedroom, looking at different dress, and sweaters, thinking about which dress would be best to wear. And of course, for some odd reason, Im looking at wearing a sweater over it. Girls walk by, and oddly they seem disgusted with the huge bulky sweaters.
weird dream, I know, but oddly enough, it seemed SO completely revelant to what im going through today.
Once I had a dream, a few weeks ago, that I would be back in my old town, regretting that I came back, and wishing SO much that I was back in vancouver. Oddly enough, a few days later, I went back to the old town. So now, i tend to really wonder what my dreams tell.

Anyways...
I woke u a little late today, and OMG it was snowing like crazy!! There was LOTS of snow already on the ground. Walking to my father's house was a bit fun. the snow was almost up to my knee, and so the only way i could get down the road was walking on tracks that vehicles had already made, and at that time, there wasn't many, but I was lucky. the only thing I was truly worried about was that my computer would get wet, because snow could get in the bag I was carrying, so, yeah, i was worried about snow getting in and ruining my computer. luckily, it didn't.
the past week has been, well, a bit weird. eating food was almost like, 'i don't care', which im starting to get back into thinking, 'CALORIES=BAD!!'. but the past week, i've been graving on food, and not feeling to horrible about it.

anyways....

hope everyone is doing good, keeping up with those new years resolutions on weight, etc.
:)
~Em

i may have been discovered. i'm not sure. in any case, I am currently changing the url on this blog, but I will only be simply adding 3 words. For those of you who want to keep reading what I write, here is the clue to where my new url is:

1) the current url name + This sign ( - ) + (as one word, absolutely no spaces or anything between each word) the three words blair wanted to hear from chuck, gossip girl fans you know this.

good luck, and stay strong

~em

STUCK

hello to all those who are reading this.

I feel like im stuck, stuck and not getting anywhere.

Good news today is, I got new journals, so I will be writing in them, so I can write everything, like what i eat, how much, and exercise, and what not.

I have a updating photo on how much progress I have made, though I warn, it is unfortunately not much at all.

While finding other blogs, I have found this pic, that I really like, which is called "2011: year of the gap". I find it really symbolizes what, to me, this year is all about. Getting thin, and doing whatever it takes to get there.

Credit to whoever did this photo.

I printed it and put it up, for thinspiration.

Diet starts tomorrow, I will be eating food that contains hardly any salt/sodium in an attempt to greatly lessen my intake. For those of you who are going to prom, and want a smaller tummy, do not eat sodium. I will alsi be eating VERY low carb food (as, from the research I have done lately, it appears everything has carbs) So whatever I eat has, like, NO carbs.

I just hope I can stick to it.

Good luck everyone

~em