It's official. The house is for sale :(
For the past few years, and most of them the ones i was in high school, I have lived in this house for so long.
Don't you just hate that feeling that when you have to say goodbye to something - a house, for example - you can't actualy believe that you've become so attached to something you never thought you would? Anyway, so the house is for sale, and I have no absolute clue where Im going if it ever sells. My father is moving to a very small town this summer; i feel so...lost. After this, where will my real home be?? Sure, i'll be in college, but is that seriously to be considered a real home? I mean a place that has always been there, since forever! A place that you can always count on being there no matter what goes on in your life, no matter what happens, it's always there, but now ill have no place.
Maybe one day, ill get out, and find a place thats all my own. Have you ever seen Elizabethtown, that scene where Kirsten Dunst shows Orlando Bloom the sunrise, that one scene after that LONG phone conversation? That kind of place, a place where nothing can touch you, a place thats yours, and no one can bother or touch you there, a place that, for infinity, will always be the absolute same.
After all this time, earlier today I realized that so much has changed in 2 years, and yet it hasnt. I learned what a b*t*h my grandmother is, how much my mother changes my mind in one second, and then walks away without so much as a hint of a word, or how about the fact that I have finally found out what I want to do with the rest of my life?
It just feels weird, having everything change so fast; I wish everything would just happen overtime, like in slow motion. Ugh
I got a new phone, after about 2 1/2 months of not having one. It feels weird, to feel the need to check everything every couple of minutes, as if continuously checking if there is a text or what not. Blackberry 9780, bold, something like that. And it was really by chance that I got it, as the contract wasn't that much, and considering that this phone is retail no-contract 500$ price, its pretty good. Ive been thinking of setting up a twitter for this blogger account, to put more about my food intake, exercise, and all around thispiration, and such.
If anyone else on blogger, and is proana, have twitter, give a shout in the comment section below, we can all use a little support now and then. I hope everyone is doing there best to be skinny for summer.

While working today, I thought a horrible thought; what is I was fat, fat, FAT, when I enter the new era of my life; my 20's. What if im fat for the r.....lets not, NOT think about that AT ALL. Then I thought anther thought: that there is no way in hell, EVER, that i will or want to grow old; old people are just....ugh, mean, and sloppy, and....i can't even think f growing old, watching myself become weak, and wrinkly. I can't think about it. gross.
anyways I better go, until i come back and write some more.
Hope everyone is doing good and all that.

loveloveove
~Em