Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sick and tired... Pumpkins..

First off, let me just say to those out there who read my blog and comment, it means the world to me when I see those comments. I feel a rush of energy to keep going when I don't have much. Thank you.

I am sick and tired of being fat. My thighs touch, and i hate that my face looks just a little on the chubby side. I am so mad at myself for eating the donuts that i did eat today, but i didn't eat dinner, so i basically ran on donuts today. I don;t know what happened. Once my lips touched the sweet, yet disgusting taste of dough and sugar, i couldn't stop. I feel SO horrible i let myself fall.
Unfortunately Thanksgiving is in two days, but as my parents have split, i'll be at two dinners this year. I used to think 'Yeah, Thanksgiving! Turkey and pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce!'. Now when i think of it, i think of disgusting food, filled with carbs. I know i won't be eating turkey or the mashed potatoes this year; turkey's meat, and potatoes are just starch. Thank god i think of puking when i think of Thanksgiving dinner - no offence to those who love it though.

I have been getting pointers and tips from 'Quest for Perfection.' Tomorrow, i will go and buy the Pro-Ana Essentials she posted. Not sure about laxatives though. Anyway, being thin means the world to me right now, and i will do anything to get it.

2 comments:

  1. Babe, i know your pain. My thighs touch too, but my upper body is slim. i dont get it. i hate it :( so i ran and ran and did lots of aerobics today. but really, you can do it. if you restrict up until thanksgiving, then you can allow yourself some treats :)

    think thin!

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  2. I know how you feel about thanksgiving...I am DREADING it because I know my husband will force me to eat.

    And I do mean force =/

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