Introduction

I used to have a petite frame. Before I really fell in love with food. I used to eat all the time, the occasionally chocolate bar here, the cheese burger there, i ate when i felt like it. I guess i ate to fill the void of being lonely, like i could fill it, if i just kept eating. Deep down i knew i really couldn't fix it, but some part of me said that if i kept eating, it could be filled. I was/am pretty lonely. I dont have any friends and my family doesn't completely appreciate me; not as well as they love my sister.

I am graduated, at home, and am weighing my options of what and where to do about school. My parents, sister especially, think i'm wasting my time being at home. But i have been steadily researching calories, and such about food.

I have now begun to steadily hate food, and have trying ot eat less and less. I haven't weighed myself in a long time, but have just recently decided to buy a scale. I want to be thin, and that includes weighing myself. I have researched it many times.

I have never felt i am good enough for anyone. No matter how many chores i do, or how good i do at school, my parents never congratulate me like they do my sister. I tell them that I got a A on a english test, they say their proud, but when my sister gets an A on anything, they congratulate her, and take her out for lunch. I feel highly under-appreciated.

This blog is to help keep me motivated. I want to be stunning. Perfect. Beautiful, and THIN. Now it is time for Ana to become my best friend. She will hold me in my darkest hour of need; she will always be there for me when i need her the most.

'I will become thin, or die trying.'

~Em