More Question

I'll be honest, i like answering questionnaires like this.  Its makes me think about my life and everything.

1. What starsign are you?

     Im...cancer, which i think is a lobster or something.  

2. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

    Easy.  Back in my hometown, there's this pizza restaurant, famous in our hometown, and they sell a pizza called 'chicken blanco'.  It has tomatoes, olives, cheese, chicken, this crust thats to die for, and instead of pizza sauce, its like this ranch sauce.  I LOVE it!! Except i always get it without onions.

3. What three items would you bring to a desert island

    1- a phone to call people, and to call for help

    2 - a journal, to write.

    3- a knife, so i can make a spear to catch fish, and catch food.  so i won't die

4. Have you ever been in love?

    Probably not, don't think so.  Ive never been in a relationship, which, at 21, is depressing, but i still have time.  Besides family, no i have not.

5. what is your party trick?

   Its not really a party trick, but something along the lines of Mia Thermopolis before she was a princess: 'being invisible'.  its like nobody even cares or sees me at a party.  I guess you can get everyones secrets being that way tho.

6.  Who is your hero?

    I don't really have a true hero, maybe like two: audrey hepburn, she was kind, unselfish, helped others, and never spent more than she needed.  Anne Frank, because, even when things were the worst, she always seemed to look for the positive.  (yes, she was trapped in a extremely small house, but at least she was alive, and with her family; and she knew that)  And she always tried to see the best in people.  She was a kind human being.

7.  What actress would play you in a movie about your life?

    Its not really an actress, but one character springs to mind; the person, parker, from the show leverage.  She baffles me, she seems weird, but at the same time, shes like me; mysterious and weird, no one gets her, but at the end of the day, she makes sense.

As a legit actress...i can't actually picture someone else playing me.

8. Do you prefer giving or recieving gifts?

a little of both; seeing the expression of their faces, as well as having more crap to return and exchange (last part a joke, but i never really get what i ask for, so im like rachel green, in the sense that i would return it if it sucks, and get something better; id rather like it, than have it be something i hate, and keep in a box)

9. What is your motto?

I don't really have one that i stick to, but like, be happy, live life.  When your old, and telling stories, be the main character in the stories - live your life.  Everyday.

10. What is your lowest goal weight?

its always been around 105 - 100.

Happiness

hey guys.
Ive found this little questionnaire, and since i can't really think of what to blog at the moment, I will be posting the answers to these questions.  Hope everyone is doing well; I know I'm...blah at the moment.

1)When are you the happiest?

I've actually thought about this question over the past few weeks (before i even found this questionnaire), and to be honest, I can't remember a time when i was purely happy, i can't remember when i had happiness that was really real.  Sure there are 'happy days' where everything seems to be going right, but...everytime I go back in my mind, there only what i call 'highs'.  I can't remember a time when I was truly happy.  Though I do say that I am happy to be alive today, and to be alive writing this, to be healthy (minus one or two things that i still need work on - like finishing teeth work) but at the end of the day, i know im happy to be alive, to live in a country, and to have free speech, and to be able to walk down the street knowing that i am safer than most countries.  so, asking me this question, i put it into categories..yeah

2)  If you could change 3 things about you, what would they be?

Number one, for starters, I would want my boobs, and legs to be thinner, the rest of my body i have no problem with, its just those two things.  Number two, as it has to be about myself, I would change...i guess my shoe size - I have big feet, about size 9 or 10, depending on the brand, so maybe have them a size 8 or something.  Lastly, Number 3, maybe have my face slimmer, and less fat.  Lets face it, my face is a little chubby at the moment.

3) If you could be an animal, what would it be and why?

This is actually a question that stumps me.  There are both adv. and disadv. to every living thing, but I think I'd be... some sort of a bird, because, when a bird flies, its like they can go anywhere, they have no real restrictions, they can fly and fly and see so much of the world.  I think that's what i would want to be.

4) What made you start writing a blog?

I think i just started to write, in my head, paragraphs that i would've put on a blog, so i guess i realized maybe, that it was time to actually have one.  I started to read more and more blogs, having my own laptop, and knowing that my own opinions would be completely annonymous, it felt better knowing that the person reading this, wouldn't know who i am in the world (i could be anybody passing you by on the street), and having that anonymity, it feels good, knowing that no one can judge me, because they don't know in the first place.

5) What is your biggest fear?

I think...ill be honest.  Lately ive been a fan of taylor swift, and i started to realize that she someimtes doubts herself.  alot.  And so i thought about it, and i realized that my biggest fear is to be alone, and considered a failure.  Ive had about three dreams in the last month, all about how Ive been some sort of failure to my parents, and compared to my sister, I am.  Ive never been really smart, i never got good grades in school, and ive never really given them any reason to be proud of me.  I feel like my mother feels that Im a failure more than my dad does; examples?  My mother got me 3 bags of skittles for my high school grad, while my father got me a laptop.  My father visited me when I graduated from college - which can be expensive, as he drove -, while my mother didn't even really call; i don't even remember of she sent a letter.

So i believe that my biggest fear is knowning that i am a failure to my parents and my family.  I haven't proven myself yet, and don't know if i ever will.  I also fear that i may be a 'bottom-feeder' for the rest of my life, which, to me, means that i will only make enough money to survive, but not enjoy what i earn, because its all spent on necessities.

6) What are you addicted to?

I think this is a totally easy question: entertainment.  I have absolutely no idea why, but i like knowing what is happening in the entertainment world; what books are being turned into movies (roboapocalypse, mortal instruments, etc.), and i like watching tv.  I seem to like watching BBC stuff; such as Doctor Who, Sherlock, and Primeval.  Its really unfortunate that those three shows never get any more than about 13 episodes each season.  But i like reading entertainment sites, seeing who is who, and understanding what they say at award shows (like, i now know who psy is (gangham style, anyone?)) and i think watching scifi, and drama (downton abbey, etc.) shows.  

7) What outfit makes you feel the most comfortable with yourself?

Jeans, mostly skinny jeans, and a comfy sweater, and either flats, or boots, or comfy shoes.  I usually wear my hair in a pony.  and a cute necklace...

8) What is your best memory?

If i understand this questoin right, I think it was when my sister came to visit me where i live, when i had my birthday - she surprised me when she came to visit, so that was nice, i guess.

9)Night in or night out?

Absolutely and completely NIGHT IN.  I'm a 'slow' person, im laid back, and i am not really ever hyper.  I prefer staying in, watching a movie, having tea, making dinner, or reading a book.  I feel most comfy when im home.  Being out at a club or a fancy restaurant, its just not my style.

10) What is your perfect idea of a date?

I remember someone saying, when they were asked this complete question (and i think it was one of the pretty little liar actresses who said this), they said 'something that doesn't resemble a date', in other words, something totally unexpected, because, at the end of the night, thats what stands out the most.  Something intimate (depending on how far the relationship is), quiet, romantic, has a lot of thought in it, and is something that isn't what you expected.

11) what will make you happy?

Having a job that is a hobby, lifestyle, something i enjoy; knowing that what im doing with my life, could never be a disappoint to anyone, knowing that im not a failure, and having a slightly smaller body.