ugh

hello again
anyways
does anybody else who weighs 125 or more, get like this greasy feeling, like your body is greasy and you just can't wait to get out of your top and bra, and put on just a simple tank top?
Well, I feel like that sometimes; i get this feeling like im all greasy. I don't know what it is.
Anyways, i think i have survived a few days without meat. Nest stop: no dairy. So ive been reading the skinny bitch book, and some of the things in there....eewww! for those who have read it, and have read the meat section, then youll know what im talking about, but for those of you who didn't, please don't!! it talks about how animals are treated in the factory, and it is seriously SICK!! it has even put me off from even touching meat!!!

anyways, hope everyone is doing well. its late so ill go now
til later

lovelovelove
~Em

'Low Self Esteem Leads To 'Hefty Hannah''

For those of us who recognize that nickname, right on!! (for those of you who are clueless, it was a nickname Hannah had on Pretty Little Liars before she was thin)
Anyways, so i just spent the last half hour crying over the fact that my life is now officially falling apart. Im on the waitlist...waitlisted in college! ARGHHHHHHHHH!!! I guess its fine a little though, since i still not quite sure exactly what to do; i was thinking of going into English, but hats as far as I go in my mind, for a career path. i have absolutely no clue what i want to do 5 years from now, no clue whatsoever! I know i want to continue in something like fashion or something, but besides that, im not absolutely sure.
So i cancelled my residency thing, so now, in the fall.......
All i can think about right now is the disappointment ill see in my fathers eyes when i tell him what ive decided to do.
oops, someones outside, and its late, write later

lovelove
~Em

when you don't eat, or stop eating, ironically, when your bored or just sitting food is all i tend to think about. When im working, when im on the computer, or when im walking the dog. I think about what i could eat next, how many calories it contains, and how long i would have to jog to get rid of it. Its a constant battle to stop myself thinking about food, and concentrate on other things.
i just wish things were easier, and straight forward.
Doesn't it just seem that back when we were a child, everything was so simple? You knew what you wanted to be when you grew up - a ballerina, firefighter, lawyer - whatever it was, you knew right away whenever a parent asked you. I don't even know what I want to do - its so confusing!